Sponges, Starfish And Pickles
by SmileAtInsanity
Summary: Something has happened to Bikini Bottom. A mysterious girl has appeared and everything is seriously messed up. Adult Content, and Really crude humor. R/R
1. Default Chapter

This will be HALLIRIOUS to write. All you spongebob fanz can go take a screwdriver andd......... By the way i didnt make up that idiotic show.  
  
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We join our hero's sitting like lazy bastards in front of zeee televison. OOH. Vat do vee have here? Looks like our Spongebob has gotten himzelf in a bit of a problem.  
  
SpongeBob: Barnicles, Pat, there's nothing on today.  
  
Patrick: *not looking at the T.V* Yeah, i know all thats on his your couch.  
  
Spongebob: LETS GO SEE SQUIDWARD!  
  
Patrick: OK! *starts walking backwards*  
  
Spongebob: *Takes Patricks hand. Follow me, Pat.  
  
PAtrick: AWWWWW I LOVE YOU SPONEBOB!! *hugs*  
  
*** They Step Outside***  
  
Spongebob and Patrick: HOLY FISH PASTE!!!!  
  
Scary looking girl: *grins* How yah doin'?  
  
Girl: *Holds a pebble in her hand*  
  
SpongeBob and Pat: SWEET NEPTUNE!!!  
  
Patrick: PLEASE DON'T KILL US!  
  
Girl: Oooh i won't. You guys got a fun filled day ahead of you. *grins demonically* *dissapears*  
  
Pat: Oh thank neptune  
  
Girl: *reappears* *throws rock at them* *laughs* *disappears agian* 


	2. You Dont Wanna Know

-----Meanwhile In The Krusty Krab-----  
  
Mr Krabs: Hello, Squidward.  
  
Squidward: Hello, Mr.Krabs.  
  
Mr.Krabs: Its that time of the month agian.  
  
Squidward: What? Your period oh Mr.Krabz I'M BEGGING YOU SEE A SPECIALIST ONLY GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THOSE!  
  
Mr.Krabz: No Yee fool! Your supposed to pay me for ruining your future.  
  
Squidward: Sayyyy....Mr.Krabs...Can we work out a different way of payment?  
  
Mr.K: What'da mean?  
  
Squidward: Oh don't you play me for a fool, Krabs, you remember the christmas party just as well as i do!  
  
Mr.K: I told yee not to be mentioning that!  
  
Squidward: Aww you know you like it....  
  
Mr.K: Shaddup, Squiddy. I was drinkin' too much tartar sauce that night.  
  
Squidward: You were so beautiful that night, Mr.krabz.  
  
Mr K: As were you, Baby, As were you.  
  
Squidward: You think spongebob and patrick were on to that little baby scallop was our child?  
  
Mr. K: I hope not....  
  
Squidward: Hey Mr.Krabz......  
  
Mr K: Yes?  
  
Squidward: How DID we manage to get a child anyway?  
  
Mr K: I'm just THAT good.  
  
Squidward: Really? I have forgotten....  
  
Mr. K: Want me to refresh your memory?  
  
Squidward: HERE?! IN THE KRUSTY KRAB?!  
  
Mr.K: Oh, yeah you know those deep fryers turn me on.  
  
Squidward: We really shouldn't...  
  
Mr K: You know you want to.....  
  
Squidward: I'LL GET THE GREASE!  
  
Mr. K: And i'll get the pickles!  
  
*Sence Shades*  
  
*Scarrry Gooping Noizes*  
  
*Moaning*  
  
*Sence Fades into a heart* 


	3. Woooshy Doom

Spongebob: Hey wanna go to the krusty krab?  
  
Patrick: Nahhh i'm kind ain the mood for the Chum Bucket....  
  
Spongebob: GASP! PATRICK YOU KNOW WE CAN'T....  
  
~~Ten Seconds Later~~  
  
Patrick: MMMMM goooood chum bucket burgers huh, sponge?  
  
Spongebob: Yeah, but it needs Ketchup.... **goes to get some**  
  
Spongebob: OH SWEET NEPTUNE!  
  
Plankton: ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
Pearl: *screams* *Pulls up shirt* PLEASE DON'T TELL MY DADDY!  
  
Plankton: YES! PLEASE SPONGEBOB! ME AND PEARL LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH@@  
  
Pearl: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE?!!!!  
  
Plankton: You mean..? *Sniffles*  
  
Pearl: This was just for FUN! I COULD NEVER LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Plankton: Is it because i'm evil?  
  
Pearl: No, you just are good in bed, and you are a bad boyfriend.  
  
Plankton: How long were you gonna wait to tell me this?  
  
Pearl: Valetines day, so i cpould break your heart  
  
Plankton: OOOOOOOH! I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Pearl: Spongebob do not utter a word to my father. I'm warning you....  
  
Spongebob: o-o-o-ookay pearl....i won't......  
  
Pearl: Good. *Goes back to "Loving" Plankton*  
  
Spongebob: *Wide eyed* *gets patrick to leave*  
  
Spongeob: Something is wrong here. Something FISHY. 


	4. Hiyaz

Spongebob: Pat... How come everyone gets some but i don't? I mean were both Virgins....  
  
Pat: WHO YOU CALLIN' A VIRGIN?!  
  
Spongebob: YOU DID THE DEED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!  
  
Pat: Yep.  
  
Sponge: WITH WHO?!  
  
Pat: GARY. WHO ELSE?! DUH-UHHH You think we accutally played "Games" at that sleepover party?!  
  
Sponge: Pat.....  
  
Patrick: Yeah?  
  
Sponge: *lays down* Make love to me.  
  
Pat: WHAT?!  
  
Sponge: Come'on make dirty sweet love cookies with me.  
  
Pat: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO DMAN SEXY?!  
  
Sponge: I don't know pat.... I just don't know.  
  
Pat: Sponge.. as long as were being honest...  
  
Sponge: Yes?  
  
Pat: I want to tell you...  
  
Sponge: *leans forward* YEEEES?!  
  
Pat: Me and Gary had sex on your bed.  
  
Sponge: *mouth drops* *stands* YOU WHAT?!  
  
Pat: Me n' gary had.....  
  
Sponge: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN PAT!  
  
Pat: Then why'd yah ask?  
  
Sponge: I don't know.  
  
Pat: Hey everythings been all wrong-ish since that girl with the pebble showed up  
  
Sponge: YEAH! Who was that girl anyway....?  
  
Pat: I dunno but she was UGGGGGLLLLLLYYYYY. 


	5. POOF

** The Ugly Girl Reappears **  
  
Girl: Hiya, boys  
  
Sponge: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO BIKINI BOTTOM?!  
  
Girl: OOOhhh nothing.  
  
Patrick: See, its okay, sponge she said she didn't do anything.  
  
Sponge: I think she was kidding  
  
Pat: Huh?  
  
Girl: BOTH OF YOU! JUST SHUT UP!  
  
Sponge and Pat: MMEEEEP.  
  
Girl: Okay, Listen you freaks, this is a boring life. I am attempting to make it more interesting.  
  
Sponge: But your just making people sick....  
  
Pat: And they vomit...and vomit....and vomit.... and vomit..... and vomit.... and vomittttt....  
  
Girl: *interrupts* SILENCE! I think i know that you idiot!!!!!!  
  
Girl: LISTEN UP. You idiots have been ruining my life since you were born.  
  
Sponge: You saw a baby me?  
  
Girl: YES.  
  
Sponge: Was i cute?  
  
Girl: NO. *shudders* *reapeats* No.  
  
Sponge: God damnit, will i ever be cute?  
  
Girl: Not if i have anything to do with it.  
  
Sponge: HUH?  
  
Girl: *smacks her forehead in frustration DEEEP SIGH* This is what i get for toying with T.V  
  
Pat: How come you get to be drawn good?  
  
Girl: SHUT UP ALREADY. I AM NOT A DAMN CARTOON!  
  
Sponge: Ah ah ahhhh you should say that word.  
  
Girl: FUCKKKK! DAMN SHIT!!! I'll say whatever i want you bastard!  
  
Sponge: *gasps*  
  
Girl: OK, now both of you, LISTEN UP. YOU BOTH SHOULDN'T MENTION ANY AND I MEAN ANY THING ABOUT THIS. THIS IS A LOST EPISODE, DO YOU HEAR ME? A LOST EPPIE! NO ONE CAN KNOW!  
  
Sponge: Then why'd you make it?  
  
Girl: To laugh my ass off at you IDIOTS.  
  
Pat: There she goes agian with those words.  
  
*Girl Dissappears*  
  
*Reappears* *Chucks a cheese log at Patricks head* 


	6. Do Do DOOM

All the Spongebob characters are in the same room.  
  
Sponge: Why are we here?  
  
Mr.Krabz: ME AND SQUIDDY DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'  
  
Squidward: SILENCE YOU OLD CRAB!!  
  
Sandy: HOW COME I'M NOT IN THIS STORY?  
  
Plankton: Be happy, Sandy, Be happy.  
  
Pearl: Ooh i can see myself in Patrick Stars shorts.  
  
Sponge: Why not my pants?  
  
Pearl: Don't be silly no one loves you.  
  
Sponge: WHYYYYYYYYY?! WHY OHHHH WHYYYY?!  
  
Pat: Because i'm so DAMN sexy! *"Brings It Around Town"*  
  
((All)): PATRICK! YOU SWORE!  
  
Pat: THAT PHYSCO GIRL MADE ME!  
  
Mr.Krabs: HE'S GONE TO FAR!!!!  
  
Sponge: SACRFICE HIM TO THE PAINTING!  
  
((All in a zombie manner)): The paintinggggg....  
  
Mr. Krabs: *Picks up Patrick* The paintinggggg.....  
  
Pat: NOOOOO!! FUCK YOU ALL! FUUUUUCKKKKKKK YOOOOUUUUUU ALLLLLLL!  
  
Mr.Krabz: *Cuts a hole in the painting mouth with his claws* *Plops patrick in it*  
  
Pat: *Wiggles arms around helplessly* Sponge..... *eyes water* Help me....  
  
Sponge: HMPH. *crosses arms*  
  
Pat: I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!!!!  
  
Sponge: No.  
  
((All)): YOU SLEPT WITH SPONGEBOB?! YOU FREAK!!!!  
  
Sponge: *cries* *runs off*  
  
((All)): *Stares at pat*  
  
Pat: I WAS LONELY!!!!!! 


	7. The deed is finally OVER

Sponge: This is it! No one likes me everybody hates me guess i'll JUMP OFF MY PINEAPPLE! *Plunges out of pineapple house*  
  
Sponge: *Cries* I DON'T WANNA DIEE! NOOOOO! *Hysterically crying* *Cries for an hour*  
  
Girl: *Reappears* *Takes out a gun* BANG! Your dead. *shoots him*  
  
Sponge: I'M COMING LUCIFER! I'M COMING!  
  
Girl: *Claps hands togther* WELLL... That was um... Fun?  
  
Girl: Fuck it. *dissappears*  
  
---------------------------------------------------- Thank youy for joining me on my scary ride to hell. It's been fun hasn't it? YESSSS. VOMIT! VOMIT ALL YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!! ----------------------------------------------------  
  
Pat: *Wiggles arms insanly* GET ME OUTTTT!  
  
All: ITS THE SPONGEBOB HOUSE PARTY ALLLLLLL OVER AGIAN!  
  
Girl: *Appears* *chases everyone with a chainsaw* I AM LEATHER FACEEEEE! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! *Cough* HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Wellll. That was FUN. Yes? Well i must be going. Theres other horrors afoot.  
  
**Sence shows Mermaid Man and Barnicle boy with a vasiline covered toilet paper roll and ALOT of cooking oil*  
  
*Fades into a heart*  
  
*Distant spoooky laughter*  
  
END. 


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